From Disconnect to Deep Connection: Mindfulness as the Key to a Thriving Love Life

In a recent LA Times article, Hannah Fry explores a fascinating trend: young adults are having less sex. She posits that technology and busy schedules are some of the reasons for the decline, but it isn’t only young people who are struggling with the constant barrage of digital distractions and the pressure of daily life. In fact, many people today, including those in otherwise happy relationships are struggling to connect and be intimate with one another.

One effective way to develop increased intimacy both emotional and sexual, is through mindfulness exercises, which can help couples cultivate emotional intimacy and, in turn, enhance their sexual connection.  Mindfulness exercises encourage partners to be fully present with each other, fostering a sense of closeness and understanding that is often lost in our busy lives. By focusing on the present moment and tuning into each other’s needs and sensations, couples can build a stronger emotional bond that translates into a more fulfilling and connected sexual relationship. 

Here are three exercises designed to help you and your partner foster a more profound connection.

1. Hugging Until Relaxed

Instructions:

1. Stand on your own two feet.

2. Put your arms around your partner.

3. Focus on your bodily sensations.

4. Slow your breathing to quiet yourself down.

Goal: To mindfully center yourself, physically and emotionally, while you and your partner have your arms around each other.

Tip: This exercise isn’t about holding your partner. Instead, think of it as putting your arms around your partner while holding onto yourself. This subtle shift in mindset can help you feel more grounded and connected.

2. Heads on Pillows

Instructions:

– You and your partner lie on your sides, facing each other.

– Put your heads on your own pillows, making sure there’s enough distance so your partner isn’t too close.

– Quiet your mind and calm your heart.

Tip: This exercise is similar to hugging until you both feel relaxed, but it’s done while lying down. The key difference is that you’ll be gazing directly into your partner’s eyes, creating a deep sense of connection and presence.

3. Feeling While Touching

Instructions:

– One partner touches the other while both of you mentally follow the point of physical connection as it moves.

– Instead of focusing on sexual techniques or your physical sensations, concentrate on feeling each other.

Tip: This exercise helps build a collaborative alliance with your partner. These physical forms of connection can make your relationship more resilient and tangibly demonstrate your progress in fostering intimacy.

By incorporating these exercises into your routine, you can strengthen your connection with your partner, addressing issues in the bedroom and enhancing your relationship’s overall quality. Intimacy isn’t just about physical closeness—it’s about being open and honest about who we are in the presence of another. 

While at first glance these exercises may seem easy, they can be much more challenging than you might think. To get the most out of these exercises and to develop a greater capacity for mindful awareness the support of a trained couples and sex therapist is often helpful. Learn more about our approach to couples therapy and sex therapy or reach out today to schedule a consultation.