How Dissociation Defines Modern Life and How to Reconnect
Scrolling, Scrolling, Scrolling
You’re scrolling. You don’t notice how long you’ve been at it, but it’s safe to say that it’s been a while. You look over at the clock and it’s just past midnight. How did it get so late?, you wonder to yourself. You could have sworn that when you sat down it was only 9 pm. The show you were watching on TV was still in the background, but you haven’t paid attention to it for two episodes. How did I just waste all this time on my phone?
Maybe you can relate to this, or maybe the way your style of dissociating is somewhat different. Perhaps it’s losing yourself in fantasies of an idealized future, binge-watching an entire series, or disconnecting from the real world through heavy drinking or drugs. Regardless of how it manifests, so many of us seem to be oscillating between moments of being grounded in reality and periods of dissociation. And while on the one hand this is a troubling development, that so many of us are swimming through life between periods of dissociation, it also makes perfect sense.
Of Course We’re Dissociated
The amount of change that we as a society have gone through in the past three decades is immeasurable. Thirty years ago, for example, if we wanted to learn something new we would have to physically take ourselves to a library. Today, we have so much information at our fingertips that we are literally overloaded.
Like with everything in life, these developments have certain costs and benefits. For example, community networks that once formed the backbone of society have been replaced by fragmented online interactions that often leave much to be desired. Stable career paths have been upended by economic precarity and a gig economy. Even our relationship with time feels altered, as we’re constantly plugged into devices that blur the lines between work, rest, and play. These shifts have created fertile ground for dissociation to thrive.
Some of the changes of the past few decades have also made dissociation more accessible. Social media platforms are designed to keep us engaged—or more accurately, distracted—with endless feeds of curated content. Streaming services autoplay the next episode before we’ve had a chance to pause. Mobile games and apps are engineered to keep us coming back, offering temporary relief from stress but often leaving us feeling more detached than before.
What is Dissociation?
Dissociation is a psychological state in which we are disconnected from our thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of who we are. Simply put, dissociation is the mind taking a break from reality (for example, the experience of finding yourself having driven home without having remembered the drive). Dissociation often serves as a coping mechanism in response to stress, trauma, anxiety, or a general overwhelm or boredom.
Why Dissociation Feels So Necessary
The human brain is not equipped to process the constant barrage of information and change we’re exposed to daily. Dissociation can be a coping mechanism—a way to create a buffer between ourselves and the overwhelm. It is also a way for the brain to conserve energy, as staying fully engaged with constant change and stress can be mentally exhausting. By disengaging, the brain reduces the cognitive load, even if it means sacrificing meaningful connection or presence. It provides temporary relief, allowing us to disengage from the stress of modern life. However, it also disconnects us from our values, our relationships, and even our own sense of self.
Recognizing Dissociation in Your Own Life
Dissociation isn’t always obvious. It can take many forms, from zoning out during conversations to losing hours scrolling through social media or avoiding emotional discomfort by staying busy—potentially in ways that don’t serve us. Here are a few common signs of dissociation:
Feeling detached from your emotions or physical sensations.
Losing track of time or struggling to remember what you’ve done.
Escaping into activities that feel numbing or mindless.
Experiencing a sense of disconnection from people or the world around you.
Dissociation is not something we should try to completely eliminate. It serves an important function, allowing the brain to take a break when overwhelmed by stress or constant demands. Life today can be incredibly overwhelming, and dissociation can provide much-needed relief. However, it’s worth examining our relationship with dissociation to ensure it’s not interfering with our ability to build a life we value and are proud of. That being said, if we find ourselves struggling to achieve our goals or feel that something is missing in life, it might be because we are spending too much time in a dissociated state disconnected from the challenges and joys of reality.
How to Reconnect with the Present
Acknowledge the Pattern
The first step is recognizing when and how dissociation shows up in your life. Reflect on your habits and ask yourself: What am I trying to avoid?
Ground Yourself in the Present
Practices like mindfulness, deep breathing, or grounding exercises can help you stay connected to the present moment.
Engage with What Matters
Reflect on your core values and what brings meaning to your life. Finding ways to align your daily actions with those values can help you feel more engaged and fulfilled.
Seek Support
Therapy can be a powerful tool to explore the underlying causes of dissociation and develop strategies for staying connected to yourself and others.
Conclusion
Dissociation is a natural response to an overwhelming world, but it doesn’t have to define your life. By recognizing its presence and taking small, intentional steps toward reconnection, you can reclaim your sense of purpose and engagement. At Beacon Psychotherapy, we’re here to support you in navigating life’s complexities and finding a path toward meaningful connection. Reach out today for a free consultation.
